its been a year now.

i used a year to let go and forget.

yet not totally.

i kno im still hold him, and love him.

thou now he ald in a new relation,

its okay.

i believe that we will together in future and we got fate.

i believe and thats it.

its weird.

everyone seems to be so happy and enjoy their life in their college/university.

they make new friends and become good friends.

why i dont go through all this?

i made friends yet found no good friends.

its like thr's a wall or gap within it.

is it my problem?

all my good friend slowly walk away and had their new life.

is that everyone move on and let go easily?

why just i cant do that?

its good to walk in and walk out just like that.

no burden, no worries.

no misery, no disappointment.

will always stay happy.

i need a doctor!

hapii valentine day.

today is the worst day ever.

i really hope tht vanessa didnt told me abt it.

then i forever dont kno abt it.

now the question keep on repeating and repeating.

WHY?!!

why he together with her??

i thought he said he wants to focus on study first??

why he lied to me??

i really want to kno the reason.

i want to kno how they been close together??

dont kno why i cnt wish them happiness.

i was thinking how long they can be together.

how bad i am.

im feel terrible.

i cnt stop crying.

WHY???????

i know its impossible for me to be with him again anymore.

in this world thr's really no miracle.

only disappointment.

MONEY.

who dont thk tht money is important for us?

who dont thk tht we cant live without money?

everyone LOVES money.

everyone LOVES to be RICH.

who wants to be poor if thy have the will to choose?

NO ONE!

but is tht true tht money is the MOST important in your LIFE??

to me NO.

no doubt,

money is important to me.

but i can say i can still live well without having to be rich.

all i want is just a happy family.

thts all matter.

idk if i have a happy family.

i have parents and siblings.

but im just not happy.

most of the time is all about MONEY.

when friends ask me how much my parents give for my monthly allowance,

i told them and most said 'THTS NOT ENOUGH.'

but 'who cares?!', my parents thought.

when i told my parents,

no words but argument.

seriously,

if i have my job,

who will ask them for money?

when thy refuse,

constantly ask and ask just like a beggar!

parents willing to see their children have insufficient money to survive yet unwilling to help!

i used a lot on my own saving.

my parents never buy me any expensive phone nor things!

should say,

thy HARDLY buy me things nowadays!

all thy do are just keep the money for THEMSELVES.

money MATTER to them A LOT.

i promised myself,

i ll never stretch out my hand and ask for money again!

i will not like a beggar anymore!

i WILL work hard and GAIN money MYSELF.

i had a sweet dream today.

a dream tht lighten up my life at tht MOMENT.

it was so REAL and im really felt so happy.

but when im awake,

i REALIZED it was a DREAM.

how nice if i could live in fantasy.

without SADNESS and live with HAPPILY EVER AFTER life.

idk if all this while im just pretending to be happy,

accepting the facts,

and move on.

if is TRUE,

i ve been pretend for almost a year time.

i cnt find bck my true self.

WHR ARE YOU CHUAH CHIN YIN??

i still cry when i read bck older post of him.

i still smile when i read all the messages.

i feel as if i was hugging him when i hug the piggie he gave me.

i still cnt control myself.

i still stalk him once awhile.

because of my fear,

i avoid crowded places.

i fear of bump into him,

as i kno i still NOT ready.

HOW LONG DO I STILL NEED??

Chinese New Year 2012~

Kedah trip 03.02.12-07.02.12!

went to Kedah 'bai nin' with PeiEe.

initially planned to bck on Sunday,

even bought the ticket,

yet due to certain reason,

we prolonged our trip to 5D4N.

thankyou for letting us stay and being such a nice tour guide,

credit to mr. LimYongSheng, XD

here is Kek Lok Si temple, Penang.

went here on Chap Goh Mei,

as heard everyone said during CNY here decorated till very nice.

indeed its true!

i came here once,

during the day and the Guan Yin statue was still incomplete.

now its awesome!!

thanks to his parents for bringing us here all the way from SP.

thr's 12 chinese zodiac statue at Kek Lok Si.

we each found our own zodiac and tk a couple of pictures with it.

on tht day thr's LOTS og people.

so congested.

my wishlist!!

each costs 1buck.

funny was everyone thr wrote chinese on it.

guess im the only one who wrote english on it.

due to my specialty,

hope wht i wished for may come true.

XD

supposedly next station was to Gurney Drive thr.

but due to heavy rain,

we forced to go bck home earlier.

by this too we doesnt make his parents too tired i guess.

and tht's the END of chinese new year.

this year i failed to go for the 'tro mandarin' event.

and so couldn't find my mr. right. :c

welcome Samsung Galaxy S2!

this is the new smartphone i bought today, RM1.6k.

thts not cheap or worth.

thts because i ve traded in my SE W995 instead.

thts my SE W995 i had traded.

not even a year old.

just 10th month yet it seemed lke one year old or more.

as i not really look after it as how i looked after my SE W810i.

wht i miss was the messages in this ph.

i cnt retrieve it bck.

thr's no way to.

ll just remain as memory.

thgs meant to be forget!

owhhhhh...

my 5 years old baby.

i love this ph seriously.

i dropped it several times,

even crashed by car,

yet still able to function lke how it used to.

thts why never intend to trade it,

and its not worth to trade as no market d. :c

hope i able to use the new smartphone for 4 years time!! XD

hapii Dragon year 2012!!

time flies just lke tht.

now ald 8th day of chinese new year.

all this days went to grandma's house and had dinner.

yummy!!

at the same time not really dare go to those crowded places as i fear of bump into him.

been thought of him AGAIN recently,

due to CNY.

been missing the times we celebrated tgt in year 2010.

i miss him ALOT NOW. ;c

this is my nephew.

how cute he is.

i LOVE him much!!

he has been sticking with my sis all the time at grandma's house.

after all no ones had time to ply with him.

all og us able to entertain him for some time bt not whole day. XD

both of time was sitting at the corner enjoying their ice cream potong.

how sweeet~~

the 3 of us had ntg to do and so cam-whoring.

my nephew and i.

i really forgotten his name.

im so sorry..

yummy!!

banana chocolate chip muffin & tiramisu.

went to Startbuck with Vanessa.

basiccally due to nowhere to go,

leg getting sore so find a place to chit chat,

and ended up here.

the muffin really taste not bad.

large enough to make you feel satisfied!! XD

KAMPAR LIFE

16.01.12-18.01.12

last monday followed see kei's car went to Kampar for 3D/2N stay.

obviously overnight at her house since she gt empty space to accommodate me.

life at thr as usual,

eat, sleep, surf the net and chit chat.

one thg tht make me felt uneasy at thr was him.

i was so worried tht i bump into him.

i have no guts to face him yet.

not ready i guess.

maybe i cnt face it if i saw him with other gurls or else.

idk.

thou im trying to live as normal,

sometimes i did thk abt him again.

getting frequent since i bck ipoh.

maybe here was whr all our memories made.

all our past.

i can have my own life!

this is dry curry pan mee.

i actly ordered d wrong one.

as i thought this was d one he once ordered when we went thr and ate tgt.

it was actly not. :c

overall its not bad.

i love to eat at this restaurant dunno why.

its delicious to me.

nameof the shop: face to face. XD

in lecture class.

was attneding english for management class.

tht day he was not teaching,

due to lots of students applied for leave,

for CNY.

seriously, i LOVE their bookshop!

indeed a bookshop.

variety of text books.

not lke my university.

if not mistaken,

thr's NOT even a bookshop!

hell no!!

idk whr's this place. XD

walked around with see kei and had a chance to captured this pic,

which idk why i captured.

UTAR actly NOT bad.

i mean their surrounding.

NICE view.

and UTAR definitely can MATCH with our UNIMAS.

both have LAKES!!

beside tht,

NTG else.

well known of their lakes??

ll upload our UNIMAS view to have a COMPARISON.

hahaha.

finally home sweet home!

before tht,

we dropped by KL and shop.

went to IU and had lunch at Zamai Sushi??

initially bro's treat,

yet ended up daddy's.

its okay.

this mean i ll have another high end meal i assume it as, SOON!! XD

seriously,

it'd been a long time since i had such an expensive, delicious food.

its lke i often eat instant noodles and bread + biscuits.

now i finally can have a healthy lifestyle,

at least for a month!

bettet than ntg.

this is dunno wht soba with chicken chop??

not bad laa.

just tht my bro and i dunno the exact way to eat this. (if thr's one)

this i kno!!

fried sotong.

my mom ordered.

besides those 'common' food lke this,

ntg suits her. XD

good.

basically idk wht this food called.

all i kno thr's egg and tempura with rice.

i kno i say the obvious. :c

i assume i here to show you the Zamai's surrounding?

XD

tht's my luggage i brought to ipoh for this sem break!

i kno thr's alot.

almost 3 hand carry and 2 backpack.

tada!

i cleared me study table.

well not entirely yet.

at least, its clean and spacious!

tht's my cleaning mission in progress.

tht's also on the day i back,

after the last ppr of final.

fuh!